


I Had Everything (I Can See In Your Eyes)

by The_TrashLifeisReal (NixxBeats0_0)



Series: Kids Just Trying To Run Away [2]
Category: NCT (Band), SM Rookies
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, If You Squint - Freeform, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Pining, Slice of Life, Some more A+ Parenting, Underage Drinking, some Jeno and Jaemin comedic relief tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-28 08:09:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8438005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NixxBeats0_0/pseuds/The_TrashLifeisReal
Summary: Mark is only 16 but he's already lived two lives: Life with Haechan and life without Haechan.But in both of them Mark is in love and it hurts him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS!  
> take them seriously, chomie, you don't want to hurt unnecessarily. (/_;) (T_T) 
> 
> And sorry Bob-Eomma for beta-ing this mess, any further mistakes are my own. . . Mom i'm sorry(._.). 
> 
> This title goes out to my 3am The Pretty Reckless (Study the Fuck Now Bitch) playlist. We've been through a lot together.

(MARK)

The first time Mark had alcohol he hated it.

It wasn’t the burning, bitter, brown bourbon scorching its way down his oesophagus. It wasn’t the emptied strawberry flavoured milk bottle the alcohol had been poured into. It wasn’t the bright glare of the sunset searing into his eyes. It wasn’t the protesting of his back as he sat slumped in the trunk of some stranger’s 4x4.

It was the way Haechan’s giggles perforated the stuffy air in the car. It was the fact that Mark could hear the grunts and moans of the person that was making Haechan giggle in a high pitched keening way. It was the fact that it was the afternoon after they both graduated middle school; Mark was only 14 and Haechan was 13 and Mark already knew he was in love. Yet Mark sat in the trunk of some stranger’s car with two other boys, the car rocking rhythmically and Haechan giggles upsetting Mark’s stomach worse than the bourbon already had.

But he couldn’t say he hadn’t expected it – he really should have expected it by now – but it still brought a violent shudder to his whole system when Haechan had introduced him to his latest fling.

A boy older than them.

They were always older.

Haechan said he liked that they were _experienced_ – it was more fun that way.

But after the two hour mark hit him and the giggling mess that was Haechan started turning into broken moans he scrambled over the backseat, paused for a fraction of a second enough to see Haechan’s mouth parted in ecstasy and then threw the car door open.

He doesn’t quite know how long he had run for but when he reached a dilapidated park he finally let go and the contents of his stomach emptied all over the cracked pavement below his feet and his new graduation shoes his mom had saved more than three months’ salary to buy. His head ached and his throat was as on fire as when the bourbon had made its way down but nothing, _nothing_ , worse than the deep ache in his chest and the rapid spit-fire of images thrown at him by his own feelings. He noted at some point that he was crying but ignored it hoping to rid himself of the images in his head first, the images of Haechan’s eyes staring right at him as he rocked his hips violently in some other guy’s lap while staring directly into Mark’s eyes – continuing on – and Mark knew if he had stayed frozen Haechan wouldn’t have stopped. Because that was just Haechan, he would never stop even if he knew the things he did made Mark uncomfortable.

Haechan.

_Fuck, he’d left Haechan._

He’d just left Haechan in a car filled with strangers and yet that fact alone made him cry even harder because he knew Haechan was most likely as comfortable with those weirdos and the guy that was bringing him to orgasm as he would be if he was in Mark’s crappy house, in his small living room, playing video games like the young preteens they were.

So Mark continued to simply stay crouched over; crying harder and harder in a puddle of his own sick only giving himself worse of a headache. His fourteen year old body trying its best to cleanse his system while surreptitiously making him feel worse – the irony of it all like an on-going cosmic joke that he and the universe shared alone because he really had done this to himself.

_“Jesus Christ how long has it been?”_

_“I think we should call an ambulance,”_

_“The kid doesn’t even look like he’s in high school! How are we going to explain an alcohol poisoned preteen? They already know us by name I’m sure,”_

_“We can’t leave him here,”_

_“We can’t really take him anywhere either,”_

_“Ten pick up his legs.”_

Suddenly there was a rush of air to the right side of his body and he hadn’t even realised he’d been lying down. How long ago did he face-plant to the asphalt? What time was it? Alcohol poisoning… it sure would explain a lot but where were these strangers taking him? Was he finally going to be murdered and his prone and lifeless body used as a sex object for paedophilic necrophiliacs? Like that story he’s heard Haechan telling him some time ago – Haechan, _shit,_ he’d still left Haechan somewhere, alone. Mark wondered briefly if Haechan even missed him by now. What time _was_ it exactly? God, his thoughts were starting to give him a worse headache.

_“God, this kid talks a lot,”_

_“I’m sure he doesn’t even know half of what he’s saying but at least this is a good sign that he is actually alive.”_

_“Taeil this is the worst fucking idea you’ve come up with, like really I wonder if my mom won’t notice the half-dead kid in the middle of her living room.”_

_“Taeyong would you just shut up already! I get it you don’t think this is a good idea, but he’s already here so deal with it.”_

_“Besides, your mom is a nurse; she’ll know what to do.”_

There was a frustrated sound and then a metal click before the one Mark had associated as Taeil threatened, _“Go smoke outside, we don’t need your mom in a worse mood than she’ll already be in.”_

_“Well fuck, can’t even smoke in my own house now. Thanks Taeil.”_

There was a door slammed open and shut and then a large sigh.

_“He’ll be alright, you guys just both need to calm down.”_

_“Thanks Ten,”_

_“Besides, we both know Taeyong always gets all prissy and emotionally constipated when he drinks.”_

Mark felt his insides give a painful twist and bile try choke up his airways. He groaned pitifully and there was the sound of movement all around him. He was turned on his side and spittle dribble down his chin while someone had soft yet calloused fingers pressed up under his chin – tilting his head back.

Was drinking always like this? Was it just him? Was he going to die? Was death by alcohol poisoning _this_ painful? God, what about Haechan, what would happen to Haechan without him – he vaguely knew how shitty Haechan’s life was but it was something they also just never dared speak of for long periods of time because Haechan hated talking about himself. Haechan said it was better to look at the future than at the now because in most cases the present was pretty shitty but the future always held so much promise.

_“Who is Haechan?”_

_“I don’t know but I’m worried this kid won’t last much longer without Taeyong’s mom – oh thank God.”_

There was very suddenly very loud yelling from a prominently female voice and Mark would have flinch back and away if his body weren’t violently trying to reject him. Or at least that was a very accurate description of what he was feeling.

_“–Why does my house smell like a brewery? Lee Taeyong get here now or so help me spirits above I will–”_

_“I’m right here, you don’t need to yell so loudly.”_ The grumpy voice from before protested.

Mark must have blacked out for a time because next thing he knew he could actually see. Sunlight filtered through the windows around him as he lay in a remarkably comfortable twin bed. His mouth was unbelievably dry and his eyelids felt like sandpaper over his eyes but at least he was alive, he didn’t know where he was but he was alive – one thing to be thankful for he supposed.

“Get up kid,” a boy said throwing the door open. The boy looked older than Mark by a few years at most with white blond hair and round and stark dark eyes. “Oh, you awake already? Get up then my mom wants to talk to you.”

Before Mark could reply the boy was out the door leaving it gaping open behind him and Mark got up – maybe a little too quickly – with the world tilting at the edge of his vision and hurriedly caught up to the older boy’s retreating figure.”

As they walked through the narrow corridor and then took a left into a small and crappy kitchen Mark noted how the general layout of the house looked like his when he got into the kitchen and his eyes landed on two women chatting amicably Mark’s empty stomach dropped and disappeared into the floor.

“M-mom?” he stuttered unattractively.

Beside him the boy with blond hair’s face wrinkled up with confusion, “Mrs Lee?”

The fact that this stranger knew his mom and his mom apparently knew these strangers wasn’t even half the problem as he looked into the hardened and angry eyes his mother pinned him to the spot with.

“Hello Taeyong,” his mother addressed the other boy without taking her eyes of him. “It’s been a while I wasn’t even sure you’d remember me since I haven’t visited in a while.”

The blond – Taeyong – nodded, “Nice seeing you again.”

Beside Mark’s mother a slightly taller woman that looked awfully familiar smirked, “We called you both here to explain how exactly Mark ended up close to an alcohol induced coma and why my house smelled like alcohol and smoke Lee Taeyong.”

Taeyong’s shoulders tensed. “We found the kid at the park and Taeil said he looked like he needed help; we didn’t do anything in your house mom.”

“So you went out after I told you boys to stay in the house!”

The sudden yell made Mark jump but Taeyong clicked his tongue in annoyance, “If we hadn’t we wouldn’t have found the kid dying alone in the park.”

“Lee Minhyung,” Mark’s mother hissed. “Who were you getting _drunk_ with at the park after you promised to be home straight after graduation.”

Mark fidgeted with his fingers nervously. “I’m sorry mom, I was going to call you but I lost track of time and–”

“What drove my 14 year old child to drink himself into a coma?” she shouted, her eyes nearly bulging out her eyes, “Left alone at the park with no one to call me! What do you think would have happened if Taeyong hadn’t found you? How do you think I would have felt! I just lost your father–”

Mark flinched.

And Mrs Lee took a sharp breath in through her nose, “Thank you for calling me and taking care of my boy Haeryong.” She latched onto Mark’s wrist and tugged them towards what Mark assumed was the front door.

Taeyong’s mother smiled a small soft smile, “Don’t be such a stranger Min, see you at work tonight honey.”

Mark’s mother coughed out a strangled sounding laugh and gave a watery smile. “I can’t make any promises,”

“Then I’ll finally get to drag you by your hair again!” the pleasant yell followed them as they clicked the front door closed.

\-----

After a good, hot shower Mark sat in his small living room with his mother and as close to a feast as their shabby life could afford them to have as Mark’s mother talked about how Mark and Taeyong used to play together whenever the two mothers got together – which was apparently often. Living in a small town as theirs and living in the decidedly poorer area of their community forged a strong friendship between the two mothers. They both worked at the hospital 20 kilometers away and both had to commute more than an hour every day in order to financially support their respective families. Taeyong’s mother had always been a single parent and when Mark’s mother’s world collapsed from beneath her she shut herself off – not even accepting help from the only woman that she could call a best friend in all her 44 years of life.

“I was scared and stupid and then shortly after you stopped being able to play with Taeyong that Haechan kid started coming around looking for you after school,” Mark’s mother put her hand on his shoulder. “But Mark you’ve been really strange lately and distant and it’s not like I don’t hear the rumours about that kid you hang out with – it’s a small town and you’ll be in high school soon, maybe it’s time for you to find a more stable support structure.”

“M-mom, Haechan – I – I don’t think I can let Haechan go that easily,” Mark stuttered. “H-he’s all I’ve had.”

“Honey,” she sighed softly pulling Mark slowly into her embrace as not to scare him off. “I won’t lie, it will be hard, but you know what – you can always talk to me. Even if it’s a silly text message about how you can never find the mustard in any of our cupboards, okay? Besides isn’t it high school where you should be acting like this – the getting drunk as a minor in public places in the middle of the frikken night.” 

Mark coughed and felt his face burn with shame, technically he had been day drinking... but that was certainly not what he was going to tell his mother... no mother needed to know their prepubescent child had somehow survived being passed out drunk in a park on the shady side of town for an entire afternoon and lived to tell the tale. 

“I’m still in trouble for that aren’t I?”

“Oh yes, honey.” She smiled done at him as sweetly as she normally did. “Grounded until further notice,”

Mark tried not to bemoan his existence too much afterwards.

 

(HAECHAN)

Haechan hated school.

But it wasn’t the boring teachers spouting tedious nonsense that he found no relevance for in his life nor was it his idiotic classmates and other immature teenagers his age he was forced to interact with on a daily basis, the long days and some evenings school expected you to dedicate, the punishments or even the fact that most people hated him. It was the fact that it had been two years since Mark had so much as blinked in his direction. Two years of partying, drinking, working, suffering and often crying without Mark by his side.

Instead, he has watched Mark laugh and fool around with a handful of their classmates, those older kids Mark called _friends_ and everyone that wasn’t Haechan.

At first he was angry, then he got sad, then angry all over again. The defeat started about a year after Mark started ignoring him and Haechan had to spend a whole break without Mark and instead with his mom and his mom’s many boyfriends.

The boyfriends weren’t that bad that year. At least none of them touched him when he didn’t want to be touched.   

The numbness and silent agreement to simply find a life outside of Mark came about a year and a half. It took a long time but Haechan had external forces that had him both longing and yet hating Mark. Hating Mark for the mere fact that Mark wasn’t there to cry on without asking questions. Hansol and Johnny were cool but when he cried he could see the questions swimming in their eyes and half of the time they didn’t pussy foot around the subject they asked Haechan directly if he wanted to call the police or get a lawyer and file for emancipation. Haechan’s usual routine is to blow up and storm away from them, giving both parties time to cool off and also when he eventually came back to them days later no one asks the other anymore questions and their friendship continues.

Hansol and Johnny were older than Haechan and Hansol was in his final year of high school with Johnny being a junior and Haechan finally starting sophomore year.

Haechan hated school but at least at the end of the day he wasn’t completely alone – he had Hansol and Johnny.

 

(MARK)

English that period seemed to drag shamelessly long. Maybe it was the monotonous drone in which the teacher read the set work book _Othello_ or the fact that everyone seemed to be counting down the minutes until lunch much like Mark was but whatever it was the whole class was antsy five minutes before bell.

The teacher finally closed the damned book.

“There are no announcements before lunch but I finally sorted you all into your assigned groups and for the group assignment for the mid-year examination.”

Everyone groaned and Mark felt like bashing his head into the table. He just wanted to eat damn it. Why was that too much to ask for? Now his future included a hamburger for lunch with a side of worry about mid-year exams around the corner.

“… group 4: Lee Minhyung, Lee Jeno, Lee Donghyuck and Na Jaemin, group 5…”

Mark froze.

Well, shit.

The bell rang and Jeno and Jaemin were suddenly standing in front of his desk talking a mile a minute.

Jaemin smiled weakly, “I guess we’re all partners. We might as well exchange numbers and sort out all the details over a group chat.”

“Haechan isn’t here though,” Jeno said with his eyes (and Mark’s too) sweeping the room to confirm that Haechan had in fact ran out as soon as the bell had rang.

Jaemin shrugged, “I was in his group last year and he was the same way. He won’t really want to talk to us, or help with planning but he is really good with presenting. He asked me to fill him in.”

“That’s unfair though, we get stuck with the grunt work.” Jeno grimaced. “But we have Mark, right? You’re pretty good in English.”

Mark sighed, “Yeah, but so is Haechan and I won’t have people slacking off – I’ll get him to come.”

Jaemin and Jeno both gave him sceptical looks.

“It won’t be easy, Haechan is such a hard ass and he sleeps through most of our classes I don’t think he’ll be that much of a help in this.”

Mark rose from his seat, “Don’t worry about it just give me your numbers and I’ll create the group chat.”

Jaemin and Jeno seemed happy enough to oblige and then waved set off on their way to lunch while Mark tried to quell the rising _something_ in his gut at the thought of having to talk to Haechan. They hadn’t spoken in almost two years and he knew it had been all his doing. Mark sighed heavily walking his way to the cafeteria. He had been paired with Haechan one other time and that was when they were freshmen working in a sort of buddy system in order to make it to all their classes in the first two or three weeks of the year. At had been awkward and uncomfortable and Mark could feel the waves of anger rolling off Haechan. Haechan had ditched him plenty of times and Mark had ended up being late for many of his classes – thankfully he had a tentative friendship starting with Taeil and Taeyong and then later Ten and they had managed to help him whenever they saw him wondering around with a lost and desperate look in his eyes.

After that they hadn’t communicated at all.

Though Mark did get that strange drunk dial a few months back and so when he created the group chat he first sent a text to that number hoping Haechan was still using it.

 **MARK**  
_(13:16, today)  
I’m making a group chat for our English assignment. This is group work, not us working for Haechan and still getting the grade. We’re all going to put in effort which includes you. _

**  
**

***You started a new group chat*  
*You have added _Jeno, Jaemin and Haechan_ to the group chat***

**NANA (Jaemin), 13:20**  
_that was pretty fast (ᵔᴥᵔ)  
 Jeno says we should meet after school today. If everyone is up for it so we can at least pick and essay question online to write about and maybe pick the order in which we present, you know the semantics._

**HYUCK-HYUCK (Haechan), 13:22  
** _I’m busy all week_

**THE MARK LEE (Mark), 13:22**  
_that sounds like a good idea  
we should all be there_

**NANA, 13:23  
** _Jeno and I will be there_

**THE MARK LEE, 13:24  
** _let’s meet at the library, 4pm sound good?_

**NANA, 13:25**  
_coolio  
(_ _☞_ _ﾟ_ _∀_ _ﾟ)_ _☞ see you then Team Leader!_

***HYUCK-HYUCK has left the group chat***

**NANA, 13:26  
** _(¬_ _‿_ _¬) somebody owes me a free lunch_

**MICHAEL J-MAN (Jeno), 13:26**  
_(_ _ง'̀-'́)_ _ง  
__FIGHT ME MIDGET_

 

Mark’s head snapped up from his phone and looked across the cafeteria until he spotted Haechan laughing loudly with two other boys. Mark glared at the side of Haechan’s face and willed the other boy to look at him and see the glare but by luck or sheer dumb ignorance Haechan didn’t look.

“Mark!” Taeil snapped fingers in front of his face and Mark turned to see Taeyong, Ten, Taeil and Jaehyun all looking at him with varying degrees of concern on their faces.

Ten started, “Dude what’s wrong? You’ve been out of it since the moment you sat down.”

Mark’s jaw clenched, “I have a mid-year group assignment and there is someone not willing to pull their own weight in the group.”

Jaehyun winced, “I know what that feels like, just do the work and hope they at least don’t make your group look stupid during the presentation.”

“No ways!” Ten yelled. “Tell that guy – it’s a guy right? – to do the work with you or else a couple of strong upperclassmen will beat him up.” Ten finished puffing out his chest.

Taeil gave Mark a funny look. “Is that why you’re so angry? Because of the project or is it the guy in your group?”

Mark’s shoulders slumped, the anger slowly bleeding out of him. “He just really knows how to push my buttons is all, I’ll be fine.”

Mark saw Taeil’s eyes flicker in the general direction he was glaring at earlier and then saw the moment Taeil spotted Haechan. The older of the two glowered. “Mark you can tell the teacher to put him in another group,”

When Mark had drunkenly told Taeil about Haechan a few months after becoming friends with him it had been a load off his chest and Mark was happy to unload all of the pain and frustration and hurt and anger and damage that went with being in love with Haechan on someone. But the few times – such as right then – it really came to bite him in the ass. Because Taeil was just as protective of his friends as Taeyong was and Mark knew Taeil basically considered Mark as his little brother so the few times Taeil was reminded of Haechan the older boy’s hackles immediately rose and he became as aggressive and unpredictable as a wild bear.

“Its fine guys I can handle it.” Mark sighed already regretting making his emotions so visible in front of his friends – Especially, when Ten and Jaehyun were still putting on brave faces as they waited for Doyoung to be released from hospital.

Ten with his mouth full whispered lowly, “Seriously we’ll be glad to take care of it.”

The rest of the table nodded in agreement and when the bell rang for the end of lunch he was feeling marginally better. Not even an hour and Haechan was already affecting Mark in a stronger way than Mark thought possible after nearly two years of no contact.

Jaehyun linked his arm with his, “Cheer up kiddo.”

Mark made a face, “You’re one year older than me.”

“And taller,” he smiled cheekily.

Mark rolled his eyes.

“Uh, by the way could I stash something in your house for a little while, I just, can’t hold onto it since my parents found out about Taeyong and I – and holding on to it will only make it worse.”

Mark sighed dramatically, “Fine.”

Jaehyun slapped his arm, hard.  

\-----

Since it was Thursday Ten was going to go visit Doyoung in the hospital, Taeyong and Jaehyun were participating in their customary Thursday is date night tradition and Taeil was in Busan until the end of the weekend because a distant relative had passed away Mark had nothing but time to kill but wait go straight to the school library after school ended at 14:45. He did change into a pair of jeans and one of his favourite shirts though since he was going to awkwardly tag along with Ten and hangout with Doyoung as the third wheel to their loving gazes towards each other. Ten was enamoured with Doyoung and though Doyoung still found it difficult and uncomfortable to publicly show Ten his affection the look in Doyoung’s was clear to their group of friends that Doyoung was just as smitten. So Mark browsed briefly through the aisles in the library until he found a copy of _Othello_ , took out his notepad and pen and began flipping through pages trying to find thing of importance or an essay worthy question that would have his group talking the full two minutes of the presentation, even scribbling a few of the pencil scrawls in the book that pointed out things of note in between endless monologues and typical Shakespearean innuendos.

“I’m here,”

Mark startled so bad that he drew a pen line down half his page and through his notes. Mark cursed and looked up to see Haechan smirking down at him – Mark glared and then looked quickly away from Haechan using his watch as an excuse and to give his startled heart a break. “What are you doing here? Don’t you have to be a snooty brat somewhere else _all week_?”

Haechan ignored the question and the barb, “Where are the two idiots?”

“It’s only half past three, we start at four.”

Haechan hummed, “You’re an idiot and they aren’t going to show up they’re well known flakes. So what have you got so far?”

Mark rolled his eyes _Look at the pot calling the kettle black_. “They said they’d be here, they’ll show up.”

“Still such a push-over Markie,” Haechan sneered snatching the notepad from under Mark’s fingers.

Mark felt anger grab him and had to shut his eyes from shouting in the middle of a school library because Haechan got the better of him, once again. “Give it back Haechan,” he hissed, “Some of us are doing actual work.”

Haechan scoffed and threw the notepad back, hitting Mark in the chest. “Those are some half-assed ideas but the one about the handkerchief doesn’t seem too bad and haven’t you fixed that horrible handwriting of yours by now Markie?”

“Don’t call me that,” Mark warned lowly.

“Why Markie you used to practically wag your tail whenever I called your name before,”

“I’m not the same person you knew before _Donghyuck_ so I suggest you stop the shit,” Mark looked back down at his notes and felt angry all over again – his handwriting really was fucking terrible. “Just keep your mouth shut and be more useful won’t you.”

There was a bang as Haechan slammed what appeared to be his very heavy school bag on the desk, causing more than a few glances their direction as well as a glare from the librarian at the front desk, and then stormed off in between the aisles. Mark let out a huge breath and his chest ached slightly but he would _control_ himself. He was the bigger person; he should be looking for ways to work amicably with Haechan but there he was arguing with him and riling the other up just as much as he was getting riled up.

Haechan came back and Mark thought the best course of action was to ignore the other boy until Jeno and Jaemin showed up.

20 minutes past. Mark was surprised when he looked up to see Haechan quiet but scribbling something furiously down.

30 minutes past. Mark’s ass was numb and it was time for Jaemin and Jeno to show up so he stood up and walked around the aisles of books to stretch his legs.

40 minutes past. Jeno and Jaemin were late but not by too much so Mark went back to his spot and sat down with Haechan still furiously writing whatever he was writing. Mark found himself wanting to laugh at how no matter how much time had passed between them that Haechan was still cute when he was concentrating – but he cut himself from that train of thought because that was absurd. Lee Donghyuck was not cute and it was certainly better for Mark that he remembers that well.

45 minutes past.  Haechan stood up, ripped two pages out of the notepad he was writing on and slid the pages in front of Mark with one final scowl in Mark’s direction Haechan left the library and didn’t look back. Mark poured over the two pages of perfectly printed letters to see that Haechan had written down the themes of Othello and which ones were mostly to be liked by the teacher (how Haechan was able to know what the teacher would like was completely beyond Mark’s current comprehension) there was also one line written in bold and underlined angrily: **~~Idiot,~~ stop wasting your time and go home. **

95 minutes past. Mark got two text messages and then angrily started packing his stuff.

 

 **NANA, (17:04)**  
_(_ _ಥ_ _﹏_ _ಥ)_  
Mark~ I’m so sorry I couldn’t make it. Something came up with my mom – I couldn’t get out of it. OTL.  
Please forgive me and do you mind giving me a quick run through of the ideas you came up with so far??  
PLEASE AND THANK YOU OH GREAT TEAM LEADER~~  
_ᕦ(ò_óˇ)_ _ᕤ I WILL WORK HARD IN THE FUTURE!_

 **MICHAEL J-MAN, (17:17)**  
_MARK~~_  
I felt sick after lunch so I went home early and only woke up now, sorry I didn’t message you sooner. I feel like death has me.  
Jaemin was supposed to tell you but I see the flake didn’t even show up.  
I’M SORRY JAEMIN IS SUCH A FLAKY BASTARD~~ 

**NANA, (17:18)**  
_SHADY AF JENO! REALLLLLLL SHADY (_ _▀_ _̿Ĺ̯_ _▀_ _̿_ _̿)  
I’m sorry again Team Leader!! OTL _

__  
As Mark walked home from the bus stop he wondered how he had gotten himself in this position. In all honesty he didn’t want to think about it anymore. He just hoped he survived this group project in one piece with out getting in any major trouble and as he walked through the front door with his mom’s cooking wafting through the house he thanked whatever god out there for the small things – such as his mom’s half burned and a little flavourless lasagne and her bright smile asking how his day had gone.  
 

(HAECHAN)

17:30.  
Haechan sighed looking away from the digital clock on his bedside table. Mark was someone that waited because (in Haechan’s humble opinion) he was an idiot but surely by now Mark would have gone home. Haechan stretched his arms over his head, closed the textbooks in front of him – he was done reading ahead for all his classes anyway – and it seemed like a wonderful night to go for a walk. His mom was out on a date with her newest boyfriend, not really that new of a boyfriend since this one had managed to stay for over six months, how the man five years younger than her wasn’t yet sick of his mom yet was beyond him. But Haechan supposes things have actually been going great; the bills for this month had been paid and he was fortunate to finally have money to buy a few groceries for the house and that he had lunch money every now and then so he had at least three meals a day at least once a week instead of once a month. A pity he hadn’t been out in a while but oddly he didn’t quite mind the peace in his life at the moment – that was until today.

18:09.  
Haechan wasn’t surprised he’d been out for this long. The night was quiet, the moon yellowish toenail clipping trying to be seen in the bruising sunset of the sky. What did surprise him was that he had walked nearly two miles to stand in front of Mark’s house and simply look through the front window at the moving shadows that were Mark and his mother. It was almost laughable how badly Haechan wanted it to be two years into the past and simply walk up to the door and knock, for Mark to open the door and then smile brightly simply at the fact that it was Haechan standing at the door and then drag Haechan through the small but homely house and sit in Mark’s living room playing silly video games till midnight. Mark’s mom’s cooking filling his belly and the promise that Haechan wouldn’t have to go back to his horrible house, back to his mother, and instead would wake up the next morning with Mark there teasing him about how bloated his face looked and how they were going to be late and hungry the whole day if Haechan didn’t wash up and hurry to the dinner table to eat breakfast.

18:32.  
He isn’t quite sure when the crying started but he knows he’s at least in front of his house sitting on the cracked pavement while his mother’s yells and screams echoed in the house. He heard a smash and knew his mother was breaking things, knew what had happened already without having to go in and then as soon as Haechan’s small and petite-by-choice-not genetics mother caught sight of him she would burst into tears all over his shirt and say that another boyfriend had broken up with her and stolen all the money they had. His mother had one savings account and didn’t have the credit score or job stability to afford loans and whenever a boyfriend came around that she was _so in love with_ and _she thinks he could really be different_ from all the pimps, wife beaters and scam artists she’d dated before she willingly told them her pin number, account details and even trigger access password as if it was nothing. The woman worked as a cleaner at a bathhouse for god sake and yet she spent money and gave to her boyfriends before even thinking of her own child. So Haechan cried for another good five minutes before deciding enough was enough and then digging into the money under his bed, the money he had gotten doing less than savoury things and then gave only half to his mother knowing she would spend it recklessly if he gave her any more.

She cried and thanked the heavens for a son that was so good to her. A son she loved more than the world. She smiled a watery smile and told him that she would go out and get him ice cream. Haechan nodded numbly and watched her leave. He glanced at the time – 19:48 – and decided it was as good a time as any to get dressed in his best clothes and find a club open and lenient enough to let a minor with a pretty face in.

04:12.  
Haechan stumbled into his front door and dropped his keys with a giggle. Next door, his neighbour (that lived at the left of his house or was it the right?) the one that got up at 4 am every morning for a jog gave him the nastiest look and the wife watching from behind the curtains yelled that he was _disgusting_ and he just kept giggling as he picked up his keys and finally opened the door – those two and their irate little rat of a dog _always_ cracked him up. They were just so mean. It was hilarious to him as he made his way up the stairs and to his bedroom. He took his haul, an impressive $180, out his pants and shoved it in his money saving box from the small slit in his mattress and then carefully put it back under his bed. The only reason he had made so much that night was because he had let the guy choke him a little and get rough enough that it wasn’t pleasurable for Haechan at all and actually the more he let his tears fall the more the guy liked it. Haechan sniffled and gingerly got into the shower because the alcohol was wearing off and the pain was definitely more noticeable. Shit, he wouldn’t be able to go again for a good three days and by that time he knew his mom would have spent the whole $300 he’d given her and they would be starving again. He took a shaky breath that turned into a sob half down his trachea and he welcomed the usual surge of emotions that overtook him whenever he did this.

He didn’t cry long but he cried long enough for a headache to form.

He stopped the water, dried himself off quickly and donned his school uniform. By the time he went back downstairs his mom staggered through the front door with a burly man covered in tattoos, his mother smiled at him standing over the stove scraping up leftover kimchi and cold rice for his breakfast and told him loudly that she loved him very much. The man smiled Haechan’s way too and he suppressed a shudder as they went to his mother’s room and his mother started moaning loudly before the door had even closed properly. The rice burned a little but otherwise it was all still edible. He quickly shoved some in his mouth has a form of breakfast, set a reminder on his phone to buy groceries with the $100 in his pocket and then scooped the rest of what was salvageable into a small lunchbox and put it in his bag, only walking with a slight limp as he caught the bus.   

08:37.  
a thought suddenly had Haechan laughing so loudly that the teacher stopped her usual droning and half the class gave him a quizzical look. The teacher continued on after he offered a flimsy apology and only once he had his head on the desk, resting on his folded arms, in the pretence of sleep did give in to one single tear.

His mom hadn’t gotten him the ice cream she had promised.

 

(MARK)

Mark’s weekend had been busy and so had his friend’s weekend.

Jaehyun and Taeyong (officially) told Jaehyun’s parents they were dating which involved – Jaehyun claims – Taeyong apparently a sweaty and uncontrollably nervous mess, Jaehyun’s dad getting Taeyong (and Taeyong’s mother and by default Mark’s mom and Mark) to agree to going to church that Sunday and the highlight was Taeyong death clutching a bouquet of flowers and wearing a crisp white shirt and fitted black pants. Doyoung had been allowed to leave the hospital and everyone had helped move things from Doyoung’s old house into his new home with Jaehyun and his parents (except for Ten because like Doyoung if the Thai boy were to be put in the same room as Doyoung’s parents only Lord knows what would have happened). Mark also used the weekend to go through the materials needed for his upcoming assignments and somewhat trying to order his life before mid-year exams hit them like a storm. Sophomore year was no joke. Mark had also used his remaining minutes to conference call Jeno and Jaemin and tell them that if they didn’t come to the meeting on Monday for discussion on their English presentation due Wednesday he would personally tell the teacher that they were out of group 4 and had made their own group 4.5. Jaemin and Jeno promised they’d be in the library 15:00 sharp Monday after school.

The only thing Mark didn’t have the guts to do over the weekend was text Haechan and tell the latter that they had a meeting Monday afternoon. In all honesty Haechan had done a lot of the source work with those two pages, beautifully cited from the text and more than relevant information was given all they really needed was to make a PowerPoint with half of Mark’s notes and most of Haechan’s and then appoint who to say what – making sure everyone fully understands the topic they picked so if the teacher asked them individual questions they answered correctly and didn’t lower the collective group average.

And Haechan had already written more than half their presentation so he didn’t really need to tell Haechan about it, right? Right…

“Haechan,”

Said boy lifted his head slowly from the desk and Mark couldn’t help but notice the drawn and pinched look on Haechan’s face. “What?” Haechan snapped with most likely less bite than he would have wanted. Haechan sounded tired and… sad.

Mark felt his face twist with concern and before he could stop himself he asked, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fucking peachy,” Haechan’s tone still softer than usual and there was almost nothing in his eyes. “What do you want Mark?”

“Uh,” _damn it why was he fucking nervous?_ “We have a meeting for this afternoon and you should be there library, three sharp, Jeno and Jaemin will definitely be there.”

A small chuckle escaped Haechan and the worry in Mark eased slightly. “I told you they wouldn’t show up last time,”

“Sorry for not believing you,” _fuck_. The sentence sounded way too loaded and Mark saw the possible double meaning spark Haechan’s eyes.

They said nothing for the longest time as Mark stood by Haechan’s desk and Haechan looked up at Mark with wetness in his eyes. They both knew they would never talk about their past – neither of them wanted to bring it up for many different and many of the same reasons. Both sides had fucked up. Both were too young to notice what was going on between them and too young to fully appreciate what they gave each other. But both hurt just as bad as the other by their separation and only now could they admit it to themselves.

“I’m sorry too,” Haechan finally said. “For being a snarky brat,”

Mark nodded. Haechan nodded.

Mark walked to the cafeteria with his heart pounding in his ears and Taeil giving him funny looks but none of that really matter because he was okay with Haechan.

\-----

Jeno and Jaemin were partly useless, Haechan was sleeping on the library desk and Mark was fed up.

He took a deep breath in through his nose and let it out with his mouth, “For the last time we have to talk about the handkerchief it’s the whole premise of our topic; whether or not it was the handkerchief that caused the downfall of Othello and his descent into madness – _much like my own descent right now_.” He murmured the last part fiercely but it fell on deaf ears as Jeno snickered and Jaemin continued to grow confused and Haechan slept in the chair next to Mark.

Every time Haechan shifted in his sleep his body pressed against Mark’s and Mark really didn’t know what to do with himself he was still but a young hormonal teenage.   

Jeno jeered, “Come on Jaeminnie it’s easy; Othello coveted the handkerchief because it was from his mother or like family heirloom type thing, then he gave it to the chick, the chick was _told_ to keep it safe and then she goes and loses it and next thing the main man-O sees his family heirloom in the hands of the guy who is banging his main squeeze then bam! He’s crazy, kills the hoe, kills his friend – I think – and like descent into darkness vibes. Easy!”

Jaemin looked mildly impressed and a little bit in love as he high fived a very smug Jeno.

Mark wanted to find the closest brick wall and run his head right through it.

A phone started ringing close by and everyone in the library fell silent turning in the general direction of their table. Mark started sweating as he watched the beady, angry eyes of the Librarian look at them. Mark, Jeno and Jaemin looked around nervously before Haechan jerked awake fumbling for the phone in his pocket and quickly swiped to answer it. Mark blinked and before he knew it Haechan was up with a slightly panicked look in his eyes and practically sprinting out the library.

Jeno and Jaemin looked at each other and mouthed, ‘ _flake_ ’.

Mark got up and ran after him.

He caught up to Haechan as the latter was opening the door to a black SUV with heavily tinted windows. Mark felt instantly ill, there was something so violently wrong with the way Haechan looked near tears as he caught sight of Mark on the school steps, the bark of a voice telling Haechan to hurry up and get in and the guy in the car yelling about _only having an hour._

Mark faintly wondered if he was going into shock as his body went numb, his mind and ears buzzed with noise from an unknown source, he felt too cold and yet his heart thudding painfully in his chest told him he shouldn’t be the slightest bit cold. Why couldn’t he move though?

Mark opened his mouth but by then Haechan had disappeared into the big black car, hidden away from Mark by seedy windows and the car was driving away.

 

(HAECHAN)

_“Fuck take the money and go you stupid whore, what kind of slut doesn’t even know how to fake it? You are just a fucking waste of my time!”_

Haechan was pushed out the car and had to walk for about 20 minutes back to his house. The one thing he could count on was that his mom was at work today and the trembling in his limbs could be soothed away with a good soak in his mother’s bathtub and some music, maybe even have pizza delivered in his favourite flavour with extra cheese. His phone buzzed incessantly in his pocket as he neared his house and he closed his eyes to try at least calm his voice before answering knowing exactly who it was without even having to look.

“Hello?”

He had barely finished greeting when the other voice yelled, _“Are you okay?! Damn it Lee Donghyuck I’ve been calling for an hour already! Where are you are you okay?!”_

He wanted to cry, he wanted to cry so hard and never stop, he finally wanted to cry on someone’s shoulder and wouldn’t it be like a fairy tale if he cried and Mark was the one to comfort him. Haechan saw his house come into view and simply let out a dry, humourless laugh out into the phone. Bottling everything and forcing nonchalance he said, “I’m fine Minhyuk, you worry too much about things that are irrelevant and quite frankly don’t matter.”

There was a beat of silence and Haechan knew Mark was trying to control his anger, _“Where are you Haechan?”_

He took out his house keys and jingled them a bit at his phone, “You hear that I’m opening my door _at home_ , my mom isn’t… here…”

Huh, the door was open. He could have sworn today was Monday and Monday’s his mom went to the bathhouse early and came back late.

 _“What? What’s going on? Haechan answer me.”_ Haechan heard panic in Mark’s voice and tried to keep his own panic at bay.

But it was difficult with the amont of unease bubbling his stomach.

Haechan and his mother had an unbroken yet unspoken rule that they _always_ lock the door unless one of them is in there. But with none of the lights on and not even a whisper of a body in the house Haechan felt a shiver crawl up his spine and his heart accelerate.

_“Haechan, fuck it, I’m on my way!”_

“M-mom…?” Haechan called into the darkness.

Nothing.

The fear rushing through Haechan was now coupled with anger – if his mom had forgotten to lock the door he would be so pissed for being frightened for no good reason and god damn it she _wouldn’t_ leave it unlocked. It was against their rule. It was a dangerous neighbourhood; they lived on the poorer side of town. Petty crimes and housebreak ins with someone lurking in the darkness to jump you as soon as you got home was a real damn thing and _dear all Mighty please let there be nothing like that happening right now_.

He walked inside, the door falling closed partly behind him.

When a meaty hand clamped over his mouth and an arm around his waist pressing him back into a hard body he almost wanted to laugh because he had half expected this to happen. He screamed.

“Shut the fuck up pretty thing,” Haechan only vaguely recalled the voice of his mother’s newest boyfriend – the brawny one with tattoos all over him.

Tears were already slipping from the corner of his eyes as he felt the sheer power of the man behind him. He was less than fucking powerless, he was useless, there was no way he could stop this man. The man’s arm was starting to snake under the shirt of his school uniform and Haechan tried to squirm away. The hand gripped more forcefully under his clothes, pressing Haechan into the wall in front of him effectively suppressing any of Haechan’s attempts to get away and Haechan wanted to throw up.

When the hand around his mouth moved away to yank the belt away from Haechan’s pants – he screamed bloody murderer.

The man was angered by this and yelled back for Haechan to shut the fuck up but Haechan had already gone through this one time too many times to simply lay and take it. He screamed and choked and was thrown against the wall so many times blood was trickling down the back of his throat in a constant drip yet he still screamed. He tried to thrash when it seemed the man was becoming overwhelmed with him not shutting up but Haechan was only fifteen with a grown man that was still too strong moving him about like a plaything. All too soon there was a gag in his mouth and his face pushed against the rough carpeting and the man rutting his thick, unsheathed dick between his already bruised cheeks.

Haechan cried. _Please no, please don’t PLEASE!!_

He felt the forceful shove of two wet fingers between his ass – the man was fucking lubricating him.

He actually did throat up a little around the gag in his mouth as three fingers forced themselves deeper and deeper into him. It was painful. It was immensely painful. Mind numbing and Haechan couldn’t breathe; the gag was in the way and clotting blood was clogging up his nose. Maybe if he suffocated he would kill himself faster than the man behind him already was, maybe if he just… stopped… stopped trying so hard.

The front door slammed opened, there was shouting and then things were suddenly happening too fast. The weight was lifted off of him, there were sirens blaring in the distance and Haechan wondered just the _actual fuck_ was going on?

Someone was crying over him. There were a few shouts and grunts and the undeniable sound of flesh hitting flesh.

The person crying over him was pretty Haechan thought abstractly, big doe eyes and brown hair falling into his eyes and a pretty angular face. “You’re going to be okay, you’re going to be okay, you’re going to be okay,” the crying beautiful man said.

There was more shouting. So much shouting but this time Haechan could clearly hear them and curled into himself and the body holding him, the tears starting up again with renewed vigour after the gag was removed and he listened to people he assumed to be Mark’s friends. There was just so much shouting they didn’t even hear his violent sobbing and retching.

_“MARK STOP–”_

_“Mark he is_ not _worth it!”_

_“Taeyong don’t fucking stand there he’s about to kill someone!”_

_“Taeil, Jaehyun shut up!”_

_“Mark STOP IT DAMN IT!”_

_“Ten don’t fucking speak to Jaehyun like that.”_

And then Mark’s voice, Mark’s usually beautiful voice calm and soft and at most irritated, was laced with so much misdirected anger and no one could mistake the pure _violence_ in it. “TAEYONG LET ME THE FUCK GO! I’M GOING TO KILL THAT PIECE OF SHIT IF IT’S THE LAST THING I DO!”

The only voice that had been calm the entire time, though angry, advised, “Mark calm the fuck down the cops are on their way and if you didn’t notice the only person in danger any more is you if you kill this guy.”

When silence fell heavy, Haechan’s sobs seemed to be too loud – which only made him cry harder. He had a headache starting and he felt stupid because he was giving himself a headache and a possible fever _please, please, please, it was starting to hurt so badly_. He was blubbering and choking on his tears and blood in his throat and the boy holding him was trying to get him to calm down but God when was the last time he got to cry on someone’s shoulder, have someone else acknowledge his pain and feel it just as he felt it with the very cries clawing their way out his vocal cords.

He heard the boy holding him echo his crying softly, the chest under his head breathing irregularly and hiccups shaking him. Other people around where crying too and somehow he managed to start calming himself down. His head pounding and feeling like an inflated hot air balloon.  

“Ten,” the boy holding him sniffed. “Get Mark together and ask him where the softest or Haechan’s favourite blanket is, I think he’s starting to go into shock.”

Haechan was pretty sure if he didn’t already love the boy holding him, he did in that moment even as incoherent and fuzzy as the world around him was getting and the trembling started up in earnest.

After that he must of lost consciousness at some point because next thing he knew he was blinking and looking into Mark’s crying face and holding Mark’s hand as the beautiful boy and Ten, _whoa Ten was in here too... everyone fucking knew who Ten was at school that’s kind of cool I’m here with a popular guy_ , sat beside Mark in an ambulance, he was lying on his side facing Mark and his friends with the paramedics behind him and talking gibberish about him and being _in transit_.

Woah, he was probably going to a hospital he’d never been to one before. Well, unless you counted his birth.

Haechan frowned and clutched Mark’s hand harder and with everything he could muster said, “Don’t cry Markie, I’m sure we’ll get an extension on our presentation.”

Mark chocked and cried harder – very unattractive yet still beautiful in Haechan’s eyes.

Ten and the beautiful boy laughed and were holding hands _damn there goes my brief fantasy_. Haechan was feeling drowsy again but in a good way, this time he knew he was going to sleep and welcomed it. He squeezed Mark’s hand softly and with a sigh reassured him, “its okay Markie it’s going to be okay now.” An echo of the words he’d heard earlier and this time he believed it.

 

**Author's Note:**

> (ーー゛)  
> Don't hate me too much.  
> * slinks back into the dark corner she crawled out of for this *


End file.
